The Khadeejah “The wise backbone” ( Four Great Women Series Part 3.1)

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 Recently a series of studies at the University of Iowa  suggests that “supportive” has almost as many interpretations as ”commitment” or “love.”  For instance, a five year study of 103 newly married husbands and wives identified four kinds of support: Physical comfort and Emotional support (listening and empathising, taking your spouse’s hand, giving your spouse a hug), Esteem support (expressing confidence in your partner, providing encouragement), Informational support (giving advice, gathering information), and Tangible support (taking on responsibilities so your spouse can deal with a problem, helping to brainstorm solutions to a problem).

holding-hands( women and men equal completeness)

It is common that couples in though economical times have to support each other. However Britain’s divorce rate is the highest in Europe. The number of divorces throughout the EU is on the increase, with an average of 1.8 divorces for every 1,000 people. But in Britain and in Finland the rate is 2.8 divorces per 1,000, compared with just 0.6 per 1,000 in Luxembourg.

Britain is well above the 26% EU average rate, at 38.8%. The 500-page survey, compiled by the EU’s Eurostar statistical office in Luxembourg, reveals that total health spending by governments in the EU is on average less than half the rate in America – and the rate in Britain lower than anywhere in the EU apart from Ireland, Portugal, Spain and Greece. These findings reflect the environment we live in.

These are the conditions society has to deal with. Couples are faced with new sets of problems, and Muslim are not exempt from it. In a society where people wont hesitate to divorce, corruption is pre-destined. There are distinct forces that instigate conflicts between married couples. There are external morals and internal ones that have been installed to the belief system of the women and men. It is all manipulation. The media plays a huge role, Beyoncé’s “We run the world”  attitude  or philosophy of a “Bad Bitch“. As far as man’s role in society ,he changed the role of being a provider and caretaker.
holding-hands(Men and Women  equal completeness)
He, the man instead choose to prey on victims before he is preyed on. Government institutions create a safety nets for women with a double agenda.  They encourage women to crush their own families by stripping away  the conservative family structure. The male is only needed to procreate and real fatherhood is becoming a thing of the past. In 2001 a study on Psychological Effects of Partner Abuse Against Men, Denise A. Hines and Kathleen Malley- Morrison outline abusive relationship between men and women. The paper consisted of statics or previous research and interviews. One statement supports the notion, that indeed the way society is structured women are clearly indoctrinated by these exaggerated feminist ideas.
She is being taught to get married and to divorce for financial reason. Most of these women are the ones who are the lowest in society.  And the biggest losers become the emotionally broken children throughout the process.. The following text is taking from a male interviewee

She ran off with another man, but after a short time returned home. I was told, principally by lawyers, that I must take her back. For if I pressed a divorce action, she would be seen as a poor, aggrieved, helpless woman, and she would literally clean me out. She could get eighty-five percent of my income and have our five children entrusted in her care. (Langley & Levy, 1977, p. 191)

One of the Four great women was the exact opposite. She belonged to noblest of the society, she was really wealthy and well-known. ” The pure and Chaste One”, the nobles among the Quraish addressed her in that manner. Considering that Islam had not even arrived on the Arabian peninsula and girls were still buried alive. Who was this women that could reject all chieftain of Quraish and uphold such a strong position ? even as widow.
9162852-male-body-backbone-scan( Without a backbone you could not stand up at all.
They also protect your spinal cord and nerves from damage and are a direct path to the brain)
 Khadeejah bint Khuwailid( may Allah be pleased with her) the woman who climbed  high levels. She was the woman who realized that there could only be one man in her life. A man who possessed a wonderful character, nobility, trustworthiness and truthfulness. She as strong business woman
was looking for someone she could trust, someone of a good character.
The Prophet Muhammad PBUH,  was at that time the only man available with these traits. However why is she (RA) included to be one of the best women in entire History, and where can we all learn from her?

The first lesson here is that she appreciated what she had and showed gratitude. When she heard about The Prophet SAAS she managed to get him  ( SAAS) to work for her ( R.A) to do some business in asham upon the journey.

Maisarah a servant of Khadeejah reports about the extraordinary things he experienced whilst being  with the not -yet -Prophet Muhammad at that time . The incident with the monk described the Prophet Muhammad  PBUH, as the coming Prophet. The Angels that gave shade to The Prophet SAAS, and his noble Character all these things compelled Khadeejah to propose.


The Khadeejah R.A the woman we know, love and admire was born out the struggle the early Muslim were going through. She became the  best among them because she was the immediate person that the Prophet PBUH,  would fall back after an unsuccessful day of preaching to his own people. She did not discard her affection towards her husband and stayed true to herself. At times when everyone declared her husband as  a liar, mad man or just deluded her love almost doubled untenable.

The direct respond was that she bear him six children and continued to be wife and friend any male or female would wish for.  Nothing seemed to deter her from being the wife of the most hated man in the town. Again a distinct trend must become clear to all of us. While discussing the third Great women one characteristic becomes evident.

If we were to summarise one attribute without contemplating too profound about it would outstandingly be standing against the social norm. She would be considered anarchist during the  French renaissance. Communist or capitalist during the cold war depending from which viewpoint you see it . In modern terms unwilling to integrate into customs and practices.

Khadeejah indeed was one of the best human that walked on this earth because of her support that she developed at times most of us would abandon the idea being with someone like the Prophet PBUH, . Historically speaking there are two major examples  that i am aware of and two different times of her (R.A) life.

Fifteen years into the marriage, something strange happened. Little did Khadeejah R.A and The Prophet PBUH  knew, their life would turn tables 360 degree. The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam came to her with his heart trembling  in the middle of the night apprehensive and disturbed after seeing things from a world unknown to him  at that time. The first Revelation as we know it.  He informed her of the happening and said to her, “O Khadijah what has happened to me? I fear for myself?….
Let us take pause here and truly appreciate why she has to be one of the greatest. The following sentences will reveal why. Remember people may say well it is about her, and not helping others like Mother Teresa. We don’t deny that she is notably the women of our century that dedicated her life for humanitarian causes. However MotherTeresa had Crisis of faith for over a decade and felt empty from inside, which leads us to the powerful respond of Khadeejah which was filled with conviction that would explode mountains.
Cave Hira
He informed her of the happening and said to her, “O Khadijah what has happened to me? I fear for myself?.She replied: “It can’t be. Be happy. I swear by Allah that he will never humiliate you. By Allah, you join ties of relationship, you speak the truth, you bear people’s burdens, you help the destitute, you entertain guests and you help the vicissitudes which affect the people.” 
Imam an-Nawawi, who wrote the commentary on Sahih Muslim said that the scholars have explained Khadijah’s statement by saying that she knew that Allah would never allow one who had been given such a generous character and noble manners by Him, to be affected by madness, since good manners is itself such a blessing from Allah.
 So if we add it all up she was his greatest source of comfort, the first to offer security. She was the first to believe in him, and who could have known him better? After all, she had been married to him for fifteen years. A moment of epiphany. This means that the first Muslim after the advent of the Prophet SAS was a women. How paradox it sounds consider the connotations for a Muslim women.
For the skeptics  you may  think “we keep hearing her being supportive and over generous”. “She was only a subservient women like you Muslim men prefer it”. Well not this time if you assume so. These were the prerequisite to attained real greatness that reached until the times of Jane Austen. The noble Quran tells us
O you who wraps himself [in clothing],Arise [to pray] the night, except for a little Half of it – or subtract from it a little. Or add to it, and recite the Qur’an with measured recitation. Indeed, We will cast upon you a heavy word.Indeed, the hours of the night are more effective for concurrence [of heart and tongue] and more suitable for words[ 73: 1-6]
O you who covers himself [with a garment]Arise and warn, And your Lord glorify,And uncleanliness avoid, And do not confer favor to acquire more, But for your Lord be patient. [ 74:1-7]
The  Holy Prophet PBUH, is addressed in this verse with reference to a particular style of wrapping himself in his clothes. The first revelation in the cave of hira  being his first  experience , he felt it very hard , and was caught by a shivery cold  once he reached home , he asked his blessed wife Khadeejah to wrap him in a blanket which she did. Some narrations have reported another event:When the holy Prophet ( PBUH) was accused by the pagans of Mecca , of being magician who separated between friends, he felt aggrieved, and wrapped himself in his clothes out of grief. Addressing him with reference to these events is loving style adopted by Allah ( سبحانه و تعالى) to console him.
( Muhammad Taqi Usmani)
Many scholars consider these above mentioned verse one of the first verses ever revealed to mankind.The revelation would come at specific times and occasion. Some of the revelation would always have a context. looking into the context we something striking. When Allah  سبحانه و تعالى addressees the Prophet ” O you who wraps himself [in clothing],Arise [to pray]. Khadeejah becomes a witness and is the first human being after the Prophet to have the knowledge. When we look at the verse we see instruction. So Allah سبحانه و تعالى choose to reveal the verse whilst the  Noble Prophet was with his wife. This magnifies the position Khadeejah had. She also had been entrusted with the sacred knowledge. Islam was about male and female from the beginning. If we compare a similar situation occurred between Adam and Huwwa (MPBUT).
However, why do we claim that the first feminist literature movement was a result of the first revelation above mentioned. To be continued in part 2  of Khadeejah R.A , the wise backbone 3.2

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